We got up in the morning and headed for the boat jetty to cruise to Ammas ashram halfway down the backwaters between Kollam and Allepey. The boat was medium sized, whatever that means, and was filled with about 9 people out of a possible 50. We shoved off a little after 10:30 and entered the intricate system of canals and waterways. Rama had never done this before so it wasn't just me who was in awe of the trip. Once we moved away from the small city of Kollam the scenery got smaller and smaller revealing the riverside villages of Kerala. People living their everyday lives i.e. washing clothes, bathing, cleaning. It was an honor to float by and observe this.
The trip reminded me of when I was younger and I would go and visit my Grandparents home named "Honey-Do" located on Lovell Pond in Fryburg ME. They had a canoe and I would take it just off to the side of their house and there was a sort of swamp there. It wasn't very big but I could go into these makeshift canals and pretend I was in the jungle for a little bit. This time I was actually in the jungle. Lined with lush palm trees and houses stuck in the middle. Man, it was incredible.
After a 3 hour trip we arrived at the ashram. A gigantic pink collection of buildings that were seriously in the middle of nowhere. You can see them down river from about 30km away. We got off and headed up to the office. I was pretty nervous, I don't know why but it just had a little intimidating feeling to it. Walking into the courtyard there was a mix of Indians and westerners mostly dressed in all white. They walked around with a purpose and without Amma there it seemed peaceful.
Now the shitty part. As I went to check in at the office the guy at the desk was telling me that Indians and Westerners were not allowed to share a room. The accommodation seemed to be segregated. Rama said that there must be something that could be done seeing as we had shared a room for the last couple nights and it was clear we were friends. The guy at the desk called a superior (not Amma) and asked if we could, the final answer was no. Rama decided shortly after this that he did not feel comfortable there. We walked out to the small village that lay outside of the ashram and walked for a bit. We said our good byes, hugged and then I watched Rama ride off in the sunset. You will be missed.
I went back into the ashram and kept to myself for the most part. In a place that was billed to have endless love, compassion, and equality, I was feeling pretty confused. The room was as basic as I've seen yet but the view from the 12th floor was absoloutly stunning. Unlike anything I'd ever seen in my life. To be that high up and to see what I was seeing, in a place where nothing much is over 8 feet, wow. I went to bed and hoped for a better day at the ashram tomorrow.
The next day started out with seva, which means selfless service. It was helping with food prep, a area in which I had some experience. I cut dates with some other travelers and we did it for 3 hours. It felt good to do and after I had lunch and went to the big hall to meditate. I got to know this really cool couple while I was there. Sasha & Jessica are from Brooklyn and they have been in India for some months now doing a photo shoot on Westerners finding spiritual significance in India. It made miss Beth even more (who am I kidding,everything, food, showering, and walking make me miss Beth). We had wonderful conversation and when it was all finished they are people that I'm looking forward to keeping in touch with. The majority of people staying at the ashram were, for lack of a better description, glazed over. As a result, we didn't interact very often. Kind of a bummer.
I kept a smile on the whole time though realizing that the same seems to go for every religious entity, rarely do the disciples act like the guru. Christians don't act Christ-like, Muslims don't act like Allah, Hindus don't act like the Hindu Gods etc. It's because most of the people set the bar so high that it's impossible to reach. In reaching for it, I belive sometimes, something is lost. Such was the case for the Amma devotees. The feeling that Amma has left there though was wonderful. I enjoyed being around the ashram of a living guru, a living saint. The music, the chanting, the atmosphere was so different.
On the eve of my second night there was a massive thunderstorm. I could see it coming in the distance to the east. When it hit I went to the 16th floor, end of the line, and watched as the rain marched and swirled from on high. The lightning struck so powerfully and so closely that goose bumps ran down my neck, arms, and back. The thunder shook my insides as it was ripping through the sky. The whole show lasted about an hour and then slowly moved on. It was the best thunderstorm I have ever seen.
The last day I woke up and helped again with the serving of food. I smiled and acted awfully chipper and the people seemed surprised. Why is it that they practice love and compassion with only themselves? I went to the small shop and got a new dohty (the Indian man dress that has captivated my thighs...Mm mm, thats hot), a postcard and a bracelet, along with some Xmas presents. I left the ashram feeling mixed emotion. Whatever it is, I am much more relaxed and ready for the next leg of my journey through two states to Gokarna, the holy beach city. It's a 15 hour train ride and I am so looking forward to the beach. Word.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Ashram
Posted by Nathan Hamlin Bean at 6:18 PM
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