Wedding Sermon for the Sheltons

Love you Ben and Rach!

Mawidge. Mawidge is what bwings us here togever, today. I had to do it. Please be seated. They call that an ice breaker. Hello and welcome to all of you who have traveled from far away from places like Florida, California, and The Eastside to be with Ben and Rachel this evening. Your presence means the world to them and it is a confirmation that you believe in the love that they posses.

For me to describe the feeling when Ben and Rachel asked me to officiate their wedding as “an honor”, would be an exercise in making an extraordinary understatement. What an opportunity for me, to be here and share this moment with the two of you. What an opportunity for all of us! And what an amazing opportunity for Benjamin Shelton and Rachel Lauritzen. We are all blessed to spending this evening, in what the 14th century poet Hafiz referred to as “drowning in the ambiance of love.”

Love. My assumption is that Ben and Rach asked me to officiate their wedding because of my postulations on love. The truth is that the only reason I have an awareness of how staggering love can be, is that I know people like Ben and Rachel. Watching you move through life together for the last 8 years has been an inspiration for me. I wake up every morning and pray to God that I’ll find the kind of relationship that the two of you have earned.

Having a relationship isn’t easy. I get that. I see both of you put effort into your relationship. I see you cook together (and cook really well. Scrumptious even). I see you stepping out on the town together. I watch you having adventures in all sorts of different places. I have observed a look in both of your eyes that is personally reserved for only the two of you, where the world melts away and you both can just be. Music, movies, and books are created from the energy that you hold together.

Furthermore, something that is undeniable about Ben and Rachel, is that they are different. On a given night, Ben might be spinning some sick house beats, with thirty pounds of pomade in his slanted mohawk, flailing his hands in the air, lost in the rhythm of the beat of this track that he can’t wait to talk about later. And Rachel may be enjoying a glass of Pinot Noir while allowing the Midnight Mambo colored nail polish from Sephora on her fingers dry. Taking in the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy (possibly crying a few tears at that episode with the elderly woman who didn’t want to do anymore surgeries! Ah! McDreamy!)

These differences make up one of my favorite aspects of this lovely couple. I have walked into an argument of Ben and Rachel’s and felt immediately that I might be in the Northeast border region of Afghanistan. To the untrained eye, this might seem unsettling but I have noticed that this is one of the many ways that Ben and Rachel find forward movement together. It can’t be easy to be so different, but for them, it has been, is, and will always be worth it.

You are different and yet you share a home, you share friends, and you share a commitment that is unshakeable. Be careful to be mindful of one another all the time. Make a point to learn from each other on a daily basis. Understand that the person next to you in the morning will be a reliable, dependable partner, but will also be brand new everyday, as you continue to change and grow.

19th Century statesman, Frederick Douglas said: “There is no progress without struggle.”
Through your struggle in difference, you will find progress in love.

Friday, January 18th, 2002. Rachel got off of work and called Ben and they spoke about grabbing some sushi somewhere. He mentioned that they might be able to score a free meal from his parents and sure enough, that’s what happened. As Rachel raided her closet for the perfect outfit and went back and fourth on the different garments, her friend Kendra made an observation to the tune of, ‘you like him’, ‘you’re so nervous’, you liiiiiike him.’ Rachel protested, Ben was just a friend.

At dinner, she kept looking at him. Studying him between bites and conversation, the looks transformed into a desire to kiss him and at some point during the Japanese cuisine, it struck her that she did indeed have a sizable crush on this guy who she thought was just a friend. Later that night, when they were out dancing, she found the right moment and pecked Ben. Not a second later, they had their first real kiss, the sort of kiss that melts two people into one, a kiss that started a journey that brings us here today.

Last night, after an amazing rehearsal dinner, as Ben and I arranged music to play here tonight, I asked him the question that I had been meaning to ask him all week. What was the moment you fell for Rachel? Now, you can call it the cosmos, the universe, call it God, maybe that it was written, or chance. He said that it was when he went to get sushi with her and I stopped him right there. It was the same story Rachel had told me earlier and it occurred to me how rare it is when two people find true symmetry.

For all of the arguments yet to be had. For all of the adventures that haven’t been traveled yet. To all of the kisses that have yet to be kissed. To all the back scratches yet to be given. All of the chapters of your book that have become history. This poetic moment right now and all of the scenes of your movie to come. The lessons that you will learn from the world and from each other. The song of your love is one that I feel like I’ve heard a million times and yet when I hear the tune, it seems fresh, like I’ve never heard it.

This wedding is beautiful. Such a golden setting for such a golden occasion. And the both of you look absolutely stunning. But, this day is just for celebration. You’ve already done the hard part; you’ve both found someone to be a best friend and partner with for the rest of your life. In this moment, we look forward to what the two of you have ahead as we admire your past. I am indeed proud to be here and wish for you with my entire heart, a long and beautiful life together.