Signing Off From Katmandu

I've made it to Kathmandu and I'm going to try and recap the last week and a half. This trip has been so amazing.

Samuel and I had an amazing time together and that is all there is to it. I had even written in my journal that I wanted to meet and be friends with an Isreali before my trip was done (seeing as the Isrealis I had met until then were very stand-offish). The next day I met Samuel and the rest was Goan history.

The day after his pure drug induced night scare we hit the relaxing hard and just sort of walked around. We ate good food and got to know some of our neighbors better. I met yet another English couple who were too cool and yet again, I miss Bethany. We watched the sun go down on a pile of rocks away from the beach and that show was unreal. Our waiter Jon was from the north of India and waited on us every time. He got a kick out of me telling him that we have the same job. I get that question a lot and you'll just have to trust that there are not too many servers traveling overseas. Miss you Buca, see you soon.

The next day we got up early and rented scooters to take up the coast. As soon as we pulled away, and I was on a scooter mind you, I realized why people say riding on 2 motorized wheels is freeing. I loved it. We would ride and then stop for water, ride, beach, ride, food, ride, etc. We ended up all the way up in Margao and Samuel bought himself a guitar for the road. He had been missing it so badly and we decided to head back to Palolem so we could watch the sun go down and make music on the sand. Israelis,(along with a lot of other people, LOVE Pink Floyd. LOVE THEM! So we sat there and played "Comfortably Numb", "Wish You Were Here", and "Time" to name a few.

I was supposed to leave the next day but I ne4ver got the chance. I was having so much fun and Samuel was on no time clock. We just hung around all day and walked around some more. I got some X-mas presents and we had our last supper with Jon. The next day we went to Margao again to catch trains to our separate ways. Samuel was going to Hampi, a town which I wanted to go to so bad. I was headed to Mumbai. We said good bye and exchanged e mails and took pictures and ended our initial time together. Suffice to say, the family will probably take a trip to Isreal at some point. Love you Samuel.

I headed up to Bombay/Mumbai and when I arrived on the overnight train it was 6am. Really early to be in a huge city. At that point, I don't think I knew how big it was. I walked the streets and they were pretty desolate. The buildings were surreally different and I needed breakfast. After I got my flight to Kathmandu all patched up and checked in at a seedy guesthouse. I went to "The Departed" that night at a theater in Mumbai. Going to the theater in India is very different. They have assigned seating, metal detectors, and get this, an intermission. Watching the movie, which is set in Boston, made me miss home terribly. I was certainly the only person in there who had a Red Sox hat on and I felt overwhelming pride (I did have a conversation with a couple Indian guys afterwards and assured them that I'd never killed anyone).

The next day I hit the streets and strolled down Marine Dr. which hugs the coastline of the city. Seeing all the people and getting a feel for the make up of Mumbai, I quickly realized that this was the biggest city I'd ever been in. 14 million people and I was just one guy walking around amidst the madness. I saw the Gateway To India, which was this gigantic arch by the water. The Taj hotel which was the definition of luxury. The I walked around the Colaba area and did some more X-mas shopping as well as fighting off the random people trying to sell me worthless shit. Yes, I did go to McDonalds and I felt like a jerk immediately after. I also went to this classic cafe called Leopolds. It's been there forever and there is a book that is set there that Johnny Depp just bought the movie rights to.

Yesterday was a travel day as I went from Mumbai to Dehli to Kathmandu. It was a long trip and there was a guy from Brazil that sat as we were waiting in Dehli and sang to himself as he listened to his i pod in an off key voice that could have curdled milk. It was long and I was happy when we set down in Nepal. I haven't been here long enough to give an account but I can tell you that it is different from anyplace I've been so far. It certainly isn't tropical and honestly, it's nice to not be sweating at every minute of the day.

By the way, how was everyones Halloween? Everyone is going to vote tomorrow right? The word by the campfire here in Asia is that the Dems are going to take the house. The Senate is tight but will go to the GOP. Everyone is talking about how Iraq is the main issue and global eyebrows are raised at Saddam being handed so called justice just days before the election. The world thinks that the trial was bunk because due process waved bye-bye to the preceding a long time ago. People out here don't hate Americans, on the contrary, they dig us. They hate GW and his whole administration. I can't count the amount of times people have referred to him as a terrorist and put him in the same league with Bin Laden. At home this kind of talk is reserved for liberal rhetoric, here it's the norm. I see another evangelical has gotten himself in trouble. The funny thing to me is that 1000's of Christians would have stood beside Rev. Ted Haggard before this happened and said what a shining example he is and look at how his righteousness shimmers in the sunbeams. Let's see where his supporters go now. Thats one thing I've picked up from reading the new testament, Jesus forgave, Jesus loved, Jesus didn't give a shit what you did, as long as you asked for forgiveness. We could all stand to be a little more like Jesus.

I heard it's been raining in Seattle quite a bit. I got to watch Monday Night Football this morning,live, and it looks like the Seahwks defense is running on all cylinders. Too bad the offense is struggling. The Pats got beat by the hated Colts yesterday and I'm as sad about that as a Pats fan can be in Asia. Whatever. We'll see you in the playoffs Peyton and God knows you have more trouble there than you know what to do with. Football started, basketball started, hokey started, the new Bond movie is out. I miss home and I miss you.

I'm going to take a trip around Kathmandu in a little bit and then it'll be off to the Monestary. I'm feeling a little nervous about it but also assured that it will be wonderful. It's going to be a month before I write to everyone again. I'll be in Thailand and possibly a monk (although I doubt it, I enjoy my worldly possessions too much). I'll be thinking of each and every one of you while I'm there and even some of you that aren't on here. Do me a favor and tell everyone that you know that I love them. Even if I don't know them than you should tell them that you love them. Vote Democrat, Happy Thanksgiving, and may the force be with you. This is Nathan Bean signing off from Kathmandu.

Drugs, Beaches, And Sunsets

It's been a long time since I updated and honestly, I don't remember much. I left Allepey on a train headed north and met some wonderful people. A doctor from England that had worked in South Africa for awhile and had some amazing stories. I also shared the trip with a really cute couple from Spain and France. I love hippies. I slept a little on the train and when I got off I was so weary. It took another 2 hours before I arrived at the sleepy beaches of Gokarna.

Om Beach is the name of the main beach where I would make my hub for the next few days. It's called Om Beach because it resembles the symbol for "Om", which is everything. The mood when I showed up was a little cold. There were westerners there but they were all seemingly into what they were doing and nothing/nobody else. I got settled in my room, which was covered with fire ants, and went for dinner. There I sat, alone, wondering if I had come to the wrong place. I also knew I had been in transit for a long time and maybe I should just sleep it off.

The next morning I woke up determined to not let the day suck. I would go on a hike and meet as many people as I could. The day started out with talking to Bethany who was visiting my Mom in New England. She is out there for my Nanas 80th birthday and to say I'm happy about all this wouldn't do it justice. It's such a wonderful thing that she got to see my family seeing as they are such an important part of my life. I've since found out that it all went great and a good time was had by all. Oh by the way, Happy Birthday Nana. 80 years is an amazing landmark and I'm so proud to have you for a Grandmother. BIG HUG!!!

I left for my hike and I almost immediately started missing the old roommates. This would have been something we did for a weekend trip except it's in India and more secluded. It was a little dangerous at parts but the scenery was ridiculous. Lush palms and jagged rocky coast. I talked to a guy from Turkey on the way to Half Moon Beach and he also mentioned that the vibe at the guesthouse where we were at was wield. I was happy it wasn't just me. I continued on and found myself a cove to swim in at Half Moon Beach and then continued on to Paradise.

When I got there I was awestruck with how desolate it was and I found a cute older couple and chatted with them for a bit before heading back. When I was passing by Half Moon again I ran into an English couple named Kirsty and Charlie. I only talked to them for a moment but I would end up hanging out with them more later. Then on the path I met yet another English couple much more of the hippie ilk. We sat down and started talking...then I got high. I was going to finish all my walking...then I got high. So I found a big palm tree, and I know why. Yeaaaaaaaah, because I got high, because I got high, because I got high. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Watching the sunset from the lone palm tree that was on this little outcropping was one of the most memorable moments of my entire trip. I went back to the guesthouse and had a wonderful dinner and met a bunch of guys talking about America. I assured them that I wouldn't bomb them if I sat down and they all agreed. Shortly after I decided to retire and I was loving my life again.

Just to put this out there, from the moment I stopped with the English couple and smoked from a chillum;

Chillum:
-noun 1. a hookah or other water pipe adapted for smoking marijuana, that can be passed in ritual fashion among a group of participants: used esp. by Indians.

I was lifted the rest of my time here. Some may say it's a bad decision and they might be right but it felt like the right thing to do and I'm still here. I decided to go back to Paradise Beach for the evening and spend the night there. When I got there I met up with the English couple, a crazy holy kid from Germany, an actually crazy guy from Argentina, a kid from Bombay who spoke perfect English, a couple quiet Isrealis (they are all pretty much quiet) and the staff for this guesthouse. It wasn't really a guesthouse so much as a Shack with a lot of beach area. I had a wonderfully chill time there and slept under the stars in a hammock. The next day I went back to Om Beach and got another night at the guesthouse Namaste. I spent a lot of time with Kirsty and Charlie and we agreed to meet in the morning so I could go to town which was a long walk and something I had no idea about.

We met in the morning and with my bag on my back (which, I gotta tell you, is paying huge dividends here in India Jay) and my mind somewhere up in the clouds, I left this place for Goa. Everyone has told me Goa sucks now but I wanted to form my own opinion about it. I said goodbye to Charlie and Kirsty and thanked them for being cool people ion a strange place. I stayed the night in town at a terrible little shanty called Gokarna International. If you're planning on being in Gokarna, don't stay here. One cool thing though was that the TV, which didn't really come in, was showing the World Series. The Cardinals won huh? Someone in Seattle give J.P. a big hug for me and tell him that I would send him to St. Louis if I were there. Go Birds.

The next day was a travel day and I headed for Palolem Beach up north in Goa. I arrived and noticed that there were two growths on my forearm. I don't know if something bit me or what but they are discerning. Oh well. I ended up hooking up with this guy named Samuel from Isreal and he is so cool. He reminds me of Craig a little bit but with Zach's laugh and...he's Isreali. All these guys finish their time in the army and then go on trips, more often than not, in Goa. This is the first guy though that I've really talked to and he's so cool. Last night we talked to this guy and he gave me a piece of pure MDNA. I didn't even hesitate and told the guy that I didn't want it. There, finally some willpower when it comes to the drugs! Samuel on the other hand was down and thus I began my long night of designated human. It was fine (although I wouldn't want to be Sams jaw right now) and I had a good nights sleep.

The beach here is great. It's so much more touristy here than where I've been. There are so many tourists here and it's just a bit of a trip! It's expensive, well, expensive for India (I'm staying on the beach with Samuel for 5 dollars US). I just found out that the Patriots ripped a hole into Minnasota. The huge bumps on my forearm are fading a little. I'm going to watch the sun go down on an island off the coast tonight. I'll be in Nepal one week from today. I've got a woman at home who loves me and she has our son in her belly. I love my life.

Namsate,

Nathan

Ashram

We got up in the morning and headed for the boat jetty to cruise to Ammas ashram halfway down the backwaters between Kollam and Allepey. The boat was medium sized, whatever that means, and was filled with about 9 people out of a possible 50. We shoved off a little after 10:30 and entered the intricate system of canals and waterways. Rama had never done this before so it wasn't just me who was in awe of the trip. Once we moved away from the small city of Kollam the scenery got smaller and smaller revealing the riverside villages of Kerala. People living their everyday lives i.e. washing clothes, bathing, cleaning. It was an honor to float by and observe this.

The trip reminded me of when I was younger and I would go and visit my Grandparents home named "Honey-Do" located on Lovell Pond in Fryburg ME. They had a canoe and I would take it just off to the side of their house and there was a sort of swamp there. It wasn't very big but I could go into these makeshift canals and pretend I was in the jungle for a little bit. This time I was actually in the jungle. Lined with lush palm trees and houses stuck in the middle. Man, it was incredible.

After a 3 hour trip we arrived at the ashram. A gigantic pink collection of buildings that were seriously in the middle of nowhere. You can see them down river from about 30km away. We got off and headed up to the office. I was pretty nervous, I don't know why but it just had a little intimidating feeling to it. Walking into the courtyard there was a mix of Indians and westerners mostly dressed in all white. They walked around with a purpose and without Amma there it seemed peaceful.

Now the shitty part. As I went to check in at the office the guy at the desk was telling me that Indians and Westerners were not allowed to share a room. The accommodation seemed to be segregated. Rama said that there must be something that could be done seeing as we had shared a room for the last couple nights and it was clear we were friends. The guy at the desk called a superior (not Amma) and asked if we could, the final answer was no. Rama decided shortly after this that he did not feel comfortable there. We walked out to the small village that lay outside of the ashram and walked for a bit. We said our good byes, hugged and then I watched Rama ride off in the sunset. You will be missed.

I went back into the ashram and kept to myself for the most part. In a place that was billed to have endless love, compassion, and equality, I was feeling pretty confused. The room was as basic as I've seen yet but the view from the 12th floor was absoloutly stunning. Unlike anything I'd ever seen in my life. To be that high up and to see what I was seeing, in a place where nothing much is over 8 feet, wow. I went to bed and hoped for a better day at the ashram tomorrow.

The next day started out with seva, which means selfless service. It was helping with food prep, a area in which I had some experience. I cut dates with some other travelers and we did it for 3 hours. It felt good to do and after I had lunch and went to the big hall to meditate. I got to know this really cool couple while I was there. Sasha & Jessica are from Brooklyn and they have been in India for some months now doing a photo shoot on Westerners finding spiritual significance in India. It made miss Beth even more (who am I kidding,everything, food, showering, and walking make me miss Beth). We had wonderful conversation and when it was all finished they are people that I'm looking forward to keeping in touch with. The majority of people staying at the ashram were, for lack of a better description, glazed over. As a result, we didn't interact very often. Kind of a bummer.

I kept a smile on the whole time though realizing that the same seems to go for every religious entity, rarely do the disciples act like the guru. Christians don't act Christ-like, Muslims don't act like Allah, Hindus don't act like the Hindu Gods etc. It's because most of the people set the bar so high that it's impossible to reach. In reaching for it, I belive sometimes, something is lost. Such was the case for the Amma devotees. The feeling that Amma has left there though was wonderful. I enjoyed being around the ashram of a living guru, a living saint. The music, the chanting, the atmosphere was so different.

On the eve of my second night there was a massive thunderstorm. I could see it coming in the distance to the east. When it hit I went to the 16th floor, end of the line, and watched as the rain marched and swirled from on high. The lightning struck so powerfully and so closely that goose bumps ran down my neck, arms, and back. The thunder shook my insides as it was ripping through the sky. The whole show lasted about an hour and then slowly moved on. It was the best thunderstorm I have ever seen.

The last day I woke up and helped again with the serving of food. I smiled and acted awfully chipper and the people seemed surprised. Why is it that they practice love and compassion with only themselves? I went to the small shop and got a new dohty (the Indian man dress that has captivated my thighs...Mm mm, thats hot), a postcard and a bracelet, along with some Xmas presents. I left the ashram feeling mixed emotion. Whatever it is, I am much more relaxed and ready for the next leg of my journey through two states to Gokarna, the holy beach city. It's a 15 hour train ride and I am so looking forward to the beach. Word.

Waiting On The Train

The train ride there was pretty uneventful. We arrived in Kollam at 2:00am and to save trouble and time went to the nearest hotel and checked in. We both were pretty tired so we fell asleep pretty fast to the sounds of a thunderstorm overhead. When we woke up the next morning we had breakfast and then asked if the backwater boat would be leaving anytime soon. The man at the front desk said that the boat leaves at 10:30am. It was 10:27am. Shit. Ammas ashram will have to wait one more day. Rama and I decided that it was best not to waste the day so we decided to explore Kollam a little bit.

He had been there before and mentioned something about a lighthouse. Those of you who know me, know how I feel about lighthouses. I jumped at the chance and we took a rickshaw to see it. It was big, beautiful red and white stripped piece of Indian shoreline beauty. Normally we could have gone up it, but it was closed so we just admired it from the outside and moved on. We walked through these little fishing villages and for some reason, walking with an Indian holy man gives you some sort of street cred. At least I felt more at ease about walking up to peoples homes and starting conversations with people. Rama said it was because they were unpolluted. That made so much sense to me. We talked to so many people and the beauty of it was that since Rama is from the north and only speaks Hindi and English and the people in Kerala only speak their own local language we were all forced to communicate in other ways. It was a blessing to be able to connect with these people. After this we went and got me a Dohtty, which is for all intensive purposes a skirt for men (but so comfortable). We had dinner at another local vegetarian place and then went back to the hotel.

In the middle of the day I called Bethany. Thankfully I got through and she told me that after having an ultrasound, she found out we are having a boy. The idea gets stronger and stronger every day. We're going to be a family. I was so excited that I told everyone in the shopping mart where I was, (and got some pretty strange looks for my effort). I'm so happy about my life right now. My life is over as I knew it in so many ways and in the same amount of ways, my life is just starting. I'm so happy. This place is amazing, I'm off to Ammas ashram in the morning.

Temple Town

I took a long train ride and ended up in Madurai. When I checked into the hostel, there was an elephant outside from the temple across the street having some rice and water. Are you kidding me? Just hanging out, having some lunch. I checked into my room and felt sort of groggy from the train ride and so I decided to take it easy. I walked through the town, which is more like a city, but not by Indian standards, just my own, which have no real bering here. I ate Tandori chicken and I was immediately in love. So, so good. There was also a view of the Sri Meenakshi temple but it was dark out and I could not see. I went home and went to bed to the sounds of Diwali i.e. very loud, random explosions.

The next morning I awoke and went to check out the temple. I ran into what I thought I would, touts. This guy dooped me into seeing a great view of the temple. It was a great view and I should say that the size of this temple is gargantuan. It's so incredibly big that my eyes had a hard time looking in just one direction. After I was done with the view, the guy actually tried to sell me a 3,000 dollar rug. What do you think Beth? He said it's an investment? Yeah, right. I spent about 45 minutes in there telling these cats I was all set and I met a guy from Canada named Iggy. He was playing the same game playing grab ass with these guys, we shook them and made for the temple.

Ok, good time so far. Things to see:

1.Sri Meenakshi Temple
2.Ghandi Museum
3.Big Palace
4.National Museum
5.Various Temples

We entered the temple grounds and before we got in Iggy recognized this guy who was sitting down. His name was Rama. I introduced myself and had no idea this guy would become my travel partner for the next few days. How could I have known? Rama is a Sadu. A wanderer, a holy man. We sat down with him and we started to buy little things like sweets, bracelets, etc. We would then give them away to people and just talk to them. He especially loves kids and so we would play with them and give them stuff. They closed the temple and so we went for late lunch. Yummy local Indian stuff that Rama knew would scare me. It was really good, I just hope I don't get a virus.

After we walked around and ended up talking to this young woman. We decided to go for ice cream in the nicest hotel in Madurai. The young woman, who had an awful limp, ended up being the Jackie Joyner Kersie of Indian Para-Olympics. She has all these medals and had just been accepted for the games next month, again. She was so cool. We walked around for a little longer and it started to get dark. I said goodbye to Iggy and told Rama I would try and meet him the next day. I went to eat Tandori Chicken again, which is quickly earning Bamboocha type status and went to sleep accomplishing none of my goals for the day that I had set for myself. Then again, I was happy I hadn't.

The next day I went back to the temple determined to see it. There was no stopping me to see great views and blah, blah. I went past where Rama was the day before but he was not there. I went into the temple and it was unreal. People worshiping God in a different way than I have ever seen. I felt like the only times I had seen stuff like this was in Indiana Jones. I couldn't help but think if I had pushed on the right hoof of this golden elephant that a secret room would open up and there would be a ritual where the evil guy chants something like "Num Num Shivi" and takes out some poor souls heart. Unless I can get past the guards and save the priceless piece that belongs in a museum. And get the girl. And not forget my hat.

I saw the Palace too, and that was the only other thing I had time for. It was huge and the only things remaining from the original are the dance and main hall. 60% of it is gone, which makes one in awe at what was taken down. This place must have been huge! I went back to my hotel and the guy at the front desk told me my friend was around looking for me. I went up to my room to get all my stuff because my train was leaving soon and when I came down, like clockwork there was Rama, with his kind eyes and infectious smile. We walked to the train station and wanted to come with me to Quilon (Kollam). I think I asked him if he was kidding and then said "hell yeah". We boarded the train and headed South for Kerala. To Be Continued...

Hole-E Sheyit, I'm In India

Ok.

India is very different than anywhere I've ever been. I thought it might be similar to Africa but I was dead wrong. It's richer but at the same time, there is massive poverty. You feel the pressure of 1 billion people at all times everywhere around you. The driving here makes driving in Africa look like a Sunday whimsy. The people begging assault you (no really, this lady had a stick in her hand and pelted me in the shin. Not as effective as you might think). Cows roam the street because they are sacred. The Internet cafe I'm in right now is blaring "Thriller". There are so many older people here than in Africa. Because we are so ashamed of our elderly in America and ship them to nursing homes and what not, I would say that you see way more elderly people here in India. Speaking of...

When I checked into the hotel, with hot water by the way, I had been up for 28 hours and was desperate for a nap. I took a big doze and woke up in the evening. I realized it would be a good idea to get cash out of the ATM (by the way, they have Ben Kingsly all over their currency here) before I left the next day. I asked the porter and he said that there was a citibank outside just to the left. I started walking and 20 minutes and 10 terrible directions later, I officially was lost. As I was asking this one guy a man that looked about 65 got off a bus. He said he could help me and I took a good look at him and used my judgement. He introduced himself as "Percy Lazurus, Risen From The Dead". His English was pretty good and he would break into gospel songs every now and again. We both agreed that Jesus was pretty cool and for the first time since I started reading it, knowing part of the bible ended up being useful. Percy Lazurus Risen For The Dead was actually 76 years old and just about as cute an angel I could have asked for.

We walked all around Chennai for about an hour and finally found the ATM. I got my money and afterwards he took me for some sweets, which are a pretty big deal here. I had this stuff called Mysore milk bars...oh my god...it's so...GOOD. I bought some stuff for him and his wife Matilda, (hey, thats a nice name, Bethany, think about it, Matilda Bean, Matilda, Matty, Mats, Tilda, Silly Matilly?) for helping and it made me happy to do it, because I knew he wasn't especially rich. I got some new sandals and we ducked into a little restaurant for a cool drink. After that I said goodbye to Percy Lazerus Risen From The Dead, and thanked him for being my first friend in India.

This place is crazy and it's wonderful. I'd heard it described as looking at the most beautiful thing along side the ugliest thing. I'm beginning to understand that, but that understanding will only grow and grow. I still don't have a ticket to Nepal? That has me a little worried but a wise man here told me that 90% of the things we worry about never happen. I like that. I'll write more soon and I'll put some pictures up too, I promise. Be good.

Nathan

Kwa Heri Africa

I can't believe my time here is over. I spent the last week in kind of a haze. It flew by because there was, all of a sudden, so much to do. I had to try and book train tickets and places to stay in India on unreliable Internet connections. I was in full goodbye mode all week which for me, who isn't great with good byes (thanks Ma), is emotionally taxing. Quinn and I busted our ass to get an agreement signed with the men who run the hotel and premises therein that Mama Rose resides on. We actually drafted a contract ourselves. Contracts are not easy and there is sort of an art to it i e: where to place certain words, demands, intros, etc. I had to get a bunch of pictures that I hadn't taken yet of people and places. I had to do laundry one more time before I left. I'll miss doing laundry by hand when this is all over, it's meditative. Martje, Quinn, and I put the finishing touches on the classroom. We put our hand prints all over the wall underneath "UNITY IS POWER", in the colors of the Tanzanian flag. It came out pretty well I think.

My last day started with the same ol' breakfast and Quinn and I went to Mama Roses for the parent, teacher, kids day event. Mama Roses boys made an airplane that said USA on one side and AIR CANADA on the other. The kids sang a couple songs including one that every kid got to do a solo. "My naaaaame is Dunkan, I am haaaapy, to be with you". Watching all the kids go I up I started to get a little emotional and anticipatory. I'm going to miss these kids in a very different way than I've missed anything or anyone before. They have done so much for me and not just opening my eyes and all that other type of stuff. They got to me. Really got to me. It's going to take a long time to feel how much I really love them and then when I do finally feel it, how will I react to the fact that all of these kids are starving when they come to school. Over half of them are HIV positive. Their future is so bleak and yet they are so content. They have no TV, no X-Box, no Hot Wheels, no toys really and yet, these were the happiest kids I've seen in a long time. When they were singing that song I also started to think about my child and how he/she/it will be singing in a class someday. I am going to be a father. Ok, moving on.

A little later in the day I brought Sabrina up to the new classroom and we sat down by the wall of hand prints. I deliberately put my hand print next to Sabrinas and I showed her that. I put my hand on mine and her hand on hers and she looked at me. I said we would be together no matter where I was and I had learned the word for 'heart' in Swahili so I said that I was in her "moyo" and she was in my "moyo". She kept looking at me with this sad confusion and I began to form tears in my eyes. She hugged me and as we were leaving she smiled at me which totally disarmed me from my somber mood. I'm going to miss her so much.

After the even was over I said good bye to all the kids and watched them pull away from the school in a dalla dalla for the last time. Mama Rose and her family of friends and I sat around talked and when it came time to leave (I still had not packed for heavens sakes), before the goodbye started coming I reminded them that I'd see them all later that night at my little gathering by the beach. I went home and packed all of my life into one bag, which is still a shocker, (and I don't mean that kind of shocker, I mean I was shocked, sickos).

I met up with everyone at the beach that night. We all sat around at the Italians bar, talked and shared stories. At one point I remember Martje saying that the crowd of people were mostly local. That made me feel really good actually because it meant that I had really put an effort in to know Africans. These people were so good to me and it felt right to spend my last dinner with them. Mama Roses family were all there which consist of:

Mama Rose
1.James
2.Lawrence
3.Robert
4.Stephen
5.Edward
5.Jennifer (Roberts Wife)
6.Masi (Robert and Jennifers beautiful girl) (MASI ATTACK!)

That's a big group and what an amazing family. They are some of the kindest people I've ever met in my life and I was blessed to be a part of their lives. Mama Rose took a short walk with me and I thanked her and we talked about my travels and what she was hoping to do with the school in the future. I told her I was going to try and help send volunteers to her in the future. I will be in contact with that family for as long as I live. I said good bye to Mama Rose and thanked her for being my Mom in Africa. She started to cry, which, of course means I started to cry. I said good bye to all the boys and Jennifer and Masi and pretty soon after that my night was finished.

Today I woke up and spent some time with Quinn. Quinn is partly what kept my sanity in tact on this trip. She was a constant feeling of home and a person here that I could trust and count on. We had so many long, wonderful talks about this and that. Thank God she was here. When the volunteers factioned off into Orphans vs. Mama Rose, (everything had to be a competition with the couple here, I'll be happy to be moving on from them. They were just the kind of people that have to win at everything and make you feel like a fool. Not jerks so much as just young and unwise. Pretty much like me at 25. Plus, the sour tone in the house had more to do with the Ball Foundation doing a terrible job of taking care of us and people complaining all the time. It's one of the reasons I'm excited to meet this friend of Bethanys. She has this debilitating disease and is in constant pain but never complains. Ever since Bethany told me about her, I think about that before I complain. I'm really abusing the parenthesis in these blogs. Sorry)) I felt so fortunate that she and I were on the same team. On the same level. On the same wavelength. She filled the role of best friend very nicely and I'm thankful for her.

I'm leaving now. I wish I could sum up what this time has meant to me but right now, I don't even know. What do I feel? I feel wonderful. I feel thankful. I feel sadness. I feel excited. I feel alive. I feel colorful. I feel like part of a family. I feel like having one more Bamboocha. I feel like staying. I feel like going home. I feel like going to India. I feel filthy. I feel incomplete. I feel filled with joy. I feel compassionate. I feel love. I feel Africa.

Salaama